Chapter 2.6: Battle Report 10: Drivers High


If you are participating in Strikezone Wotan, please consider also visiting the version of this battle report that I have posted there, and leaving a rating/recommendation, it’d help me out a lot and bring some extra motivation for me 😉


With the first team of Caledonian „Security Personal“ taken care of, but with one of them apparently having escaped the cleansing of their remains, there was no time to idle around, so instead I left behind those tasked with cleanup and just took a few of the Celestial Guards with me.

Apparently another one of the Caledonian Teams had caused a huge commotion at the Quarters Area of the station where one of the JSA Regiments had been stationed for transport to the Wotan Gate, claiming that they were an illegal invasion force illegally transported to the Wotan Gate to attack…whatever…I didn’t really care about what silly excuse they had come up with for their accusations, now that we had cleaned up one of their teams, the other ones had to go as well, and quickly at that.

By the time I reached the described area of the incident, I could already hear chatter on the encrypted Yu Jing military frequencies as a Sergeant “Onizuka” asked for backup because he and a few of his comrades apparently got into a fire fight with the Caledonians.

Joining the frequency I quickly interrupted the plea for help with a direct “Don’t worry soldier, “Dancing Panda” Security is on its way, we’ll be there in 15 seconds. General Fuyu out.”

As I rushed down the streets a patch of silence remained the only answer to my com message, and just as I was about to repeat myself, wanting to make sure that the Seargent was still alive, a surprised sounding voice answered me “Did you say Fuyu Sir? As in Yasashii Fuyu?”.

With a smile on my face as I began to recognize the voice and finally connected the name to a face in my memory I joyfully answered “Indeed Onizuka, it’s me! Haven’t heard from you in a while, still riding that sweet machine of yours I hope?”

A spurt of laughter answered my question, followed by a slightly more controlled “Hell yeah, it’s the Taichou guys! Them Dogfaces are gonna shit their skirts once he’s here! Oh ehm…sorry Taichou, eh I mean General, I’m just glad to have you with us here in Wotan again….anyways, yeah I’m still riding my sweet little lady, wouldn’t trade her for the world, I even added new slicks to her feet and enhanced that rear end if you know what I mean!”

Restraining myself from laughing out loud because of the old memories flashing back from hearing Onizuka’s voice, I replied in as composed a manner as I could “Let’s keep the dirty talk for later alright? I’m in position now and can see you are already prepared to roll out, station security scans show that the enemy unit is amassing on the left flank of yours, why don’t you go for a little ride, greet them the old fashioned way, you know, like back in the day, I’ll be covering your flank and make sure no nasty surprises come around alright?”

Wuhuuu just like the old times then, I’m on my way Taichou!!” and with that his voice was suddenly canceled out by loud blaring music from his speakers, which I could now hear even without the com, shouting “ADORENARIN zutto nagashite ….boku no hou ga O-BA- HI-TO shisou …..bakuhatsu shite hai ni natte mo….kono mama da to waratte’ru ne kitto…” as the Aragatou roared past below me on his bike, straight for the enemy lines, no sign of fear or hesitation in his movements at all.






The enemy had heavily deployed on the left flank, with their Commander and his Wulver Bodyguard, a Cameronian, a 112, and another one of those tin cans all cowered up there behind some form of cover. Apparently this team composition was their standard lineup for their “security inspections”, because on the right flank the security cam footage sent to my helmet display revealed another Volunteer Link with another Hacker, as well as a second Cameronian. One of the Volunteers seemed familiar, an old guy with blood smears all over his body and clear signs of a too close encounter with a chainrifle on his outfit.

Well at least that would save us the trouble of searching for the guy, as the survivor from last battle had apparently made it to his comrades position here, and was as it seemed just warning his colleagues that we weren’t going to play nice with them anymore….


My own team consisted of a 2 Celestial Guards, one of which was the old guy with the Mad Traps…definitely needed to remember talking to him later, the guy really seemed interesting, and the Spec Ops from before. Sadly I still hadn’t managed to see his face properly as he’d instantly assumed a new Holo Camouflage, this time looking like a Domaru, most likely to scare away too cuddly Wulvers or Cameronians…

Kanren Umibozu had advanced ahead on the right flank, securing a big storage room with his Mad Traps, and I myself had taken position on top of a roof in the center, with a Spit fire wielding Domaru on my left flank.

The two Aragatou, one of them Sergeant Onizuka with his Spitfire, where riding the streets below me ready to dash straight for the enemy lines.


Before Sergeant Onizuka made it to the enemy lines, I decided to clear a path for him. At first I tried to cover my position with a Smoke Grenade from the Celestial Guard next to me, but once again she failed to hit anything, the smoke grenade plopping through a nearby building’s window, most likely choking out anyone inside.


So instead of wasting more precious time, I simply advanced towards the edge of the building, activating the hilariously over the top “Mon Display” system of my custom made Hsien Armour, which promptly proceeded to project a giant holo image of my family crest above my back, mount Fuyi with snow falling from clouds above on it….basically proclaiming my position to anyone within 500 meters at least and painting a giant “Commander here, please kill him” on me….

I still wasn’t too sure why they had even added this idiotic system to my armour, maybe they thought that’s how Japanese liked to walk around in private, but for now, it actually served it’s purpose, as a Caledonian Cateran that had been hiding on a nearby roof instantly took the bait and opened fire on me.

Expecting just such an occurrence, I quickly sweeped my HMG over to his now revealed position, riddling the cocky Highlander with a shower of bullets before he could get a clear shot on me.


Apparently noticing my fire fight Sergeant Onizuka honked the horn on his ride twice In sympathy, openly proclaiming his arrival to the enemy just as he did with his loud music blaring through the speakers on his bike.


The Caledonians didn’t seem ready for the madness that was driving straight for them on the open road ahead of them, the first of the Commanders Wulver Bodyguard instantly getting taken out by Sergeant Onizuka as he cruised towards them, his Spitfire spewing death and destruction just as his loudspeakers spewed forth JPop Lyrics like there’s no tomorrow.


The Wulver behind the first victim instantly positioned himself before his commander, protecting him with his bulk and aimed at the Aragatou, but his swift movements where too quick for the Wulver, and in another hail of Spitfire rage the second Wulver hit the dust, revealing the shocked enemy commander right behind him.


Screaming his defiance into the Aragatou’s face the Commander opened fire on Sergeant Onizuka, but his bullets where wasted just like his defiant scream, drowned out by the roar of the bikes heavily tuned engine, the Spitfire and the music as Onizuka leaned out of the bullets path and sent the enemy Commander to a humiliating early grave with another burst from his Spitfire.


Not content with his work so far Sergeant Onizuka then slightly slowed down his bike so he could wedge in between the building and the heavy sake distillery at the back of it, the security feed from the station’s camera displayed on the inside of his helmet revealing to him that there was another Caledonian hiding behind there.

Apparently completely overwhelmed by the massacre that had just happened before his eyes, the 112 Emergency Unit Member couldn’t even muster a proper defense as Onizuka suddenly appeared in between the Building and the Distiller, instead trying to jump behind the construct for protection, but Onizuka was on a roll and he wasn’t about to let it end right there by a coward, and thus proceeded to riddle the cowardly 112 with another shower of his Spitfire.

Since Onizuka’s Aragatou Units motto always was “If you’re on a roll, you need to keep on rolling”, he instantly speed up again, driving around the Distillery and flanking into the Caledonian Mormaer which had until now been hiding behind a Wazabi Creations Freight Container.

But there was no hiding from Sergeant Onizuka while he was on a roll, and as he rode over the corpse of one of the Wulvers, he opened up with his Spitfire, taking care not to hit the Noodle Hut as well, and even though the Mormaer was more metal than woman, one of his rounds actually found it’s mark, wounding the Caledonian Nobility. Now most people would have been taken out by a shot like that, but the Highlander Nobility was made from sterner stuff and just gritted her teeth through the pain, readying herself for the end.


At this point however a roar could be heard that even managed to overpower the Aragatous bikes tuned engines and the music, as a Cameronian that too had been hiding behind the freight container suddenly jumped over the building, opening up on the Aragatou with his duo Chainrifles. Sergeant Onizuka tried to dodge the shower of shrapnel, but his new slicks weren’t made for gripping power on a carpet of blood and he thus slided slightly to the side, unable to avoid the full brunt of the attack.


With his bike ruined and his body bloodied all over, the darkness welcomed Sergeant Onizuka, but not before he could utter a satisfied “What a riiiide…”

The Mormaer could hardly believe her luck, but decided to make the best of it, leaning against freight container and taking aim at my position with her X Visor. As countless T2 slugs began riddling the wall in front of me I decided that caution was the better option right now and ducked for cover.


With the threat of my HMG out of the picture, the Caledonian Volunteer Team advanced along their left flank, set on revenging their fallen commander. A Smoke screen for security later, it was time for the team to deal with Kanren Umibozu and his Mad Traps….


Logged Communication near Security Antenna H-34N:

Wait! Wait! Don’t move any further! Did you hear that? What the hell was that noise?”

Sounded like a goat to me…”

Yeah right Mac Pea, everything sounds like a bloody Goat to you, stupid goat fu..”

Shut the fuck up everyone, I’ve had that exact same conversation before, and everyone I’ve had it with is dead now! Yes Angus here is right, those things are called Mad Traps, yes they sound like goats, yes they even look like goats, we need someone skilled at dodging goats to take care of them or we’re done for!”



How about the goat fu…”

Die you scumbag! Fine fine, I’ll go!…but wait…did you just say they’re all dead? That was my brother you know? My brother is dead? What the fuck!?”

Conversation interrupted by the sound of triggered Mad Traps jumping into action, followed by the characteristic Baaaaaalaaargh sound of them detonating in a blob of instant hardening sludge

Apparently the Caledonian Army was full of goat dodgers, as this one too managed to easily dodge both Mad Traps, allowing the Volunteer Team to advance into the room, taking out Kanren Umibozu with their Chainrifle, the old man unable to dodge through the sheet amount of shrapnel flying everywhere.



The moment the Mormaer had to reload her primitive rifle, I instantly poked my head up, took aim, and finished off the already heavily wounded Noble woman with a salvo from my HMG. With the Cameronian having advanced to the middle of the battlefield the left flank was cleared now and I focused my attention on the right flank where the Volunteers had been advancing.


The moment I took my gaze away, a silhouette of a giant warrior suddenly slid away from a nearby building, dashing across the street towards the Cameronian at the center. The Aragatou next to it later swore that he saw the thing moving, and claimed it was one of them Hac Tao soldiers, but to be fair he had never seen one for real before, and neither had I, so it could have been anything really….maybe it was “Kabuki Queen” in a funny disguise…

Anyways, the silhouette seemed to scan the Cameronian from behind a wall with his hacking device, and once satisfied with his scan results, dashed around the corner, opening fire on the giant creature.


The Cameronian however had apparently already smelled the threat around the corner, and opened up it with its twin chain rifles, both of them taking each other out, the supposed Hac Tao instantly vanishing into thin air the moment his body would have hit the ground.


On the right flank in the meantime the Spec Ops revealed his true identity as he moved closer to the entrance of the storage room, and shot a dart from his Medkit at Kanren Umibozu in attempt to bring the old man back to his feet.

He even managed to hit Umibozu, but to his distress the Spec Ops had apparently picked the wrong vial, shooting a sleeping dart instead of an adrenalin dose, and Kanren Umibozu dozed off, the battle over for him.


I coordinated the Celestial Guard, Domaru and the Spec Ops to take a better firing position on the right flank, but even while the Spec Ops was still moving, the Cameronian on the right flank advanced towards him, ignoring the bullet I placed into his chest, and opened fire on the Spec Ops with both his Chainrifles.


I managed to make him pay with his life for this rash aggression, but the half human still managed to take out the Spec Ops in a hail of hot metal before he fell.


The Volunteers inside of the Storage room decided to make their last offensive, everyone else of their team already dead or bleeding out, but since the Celestial Guard had brought along his Mad Traps, a breakout wasn’t that easy….


Logged Communication near Security Antenna H-33N:

*Sound of a Mad Trap scanning the area can be heard*

Aaaaangus… you hear that? Your lovers are calling for you!”

*Sound of a heavy object hitting flesh*

Next time you say something like that it won’t be the stock of my Shotgun hitting you!”

Oh come on Mac Seamus, where’s your humor eh?”

My humor died out there next to your bloody commander! Don’t you get how serious this is? We’re all about to die here!”

Yeah, but might as well do it with a smile on our face right?…and we all know nothing puts a smile on Mac Pea’s face like a goat’s Pe..”

Fuck you guys! I’m out there dodging them Mad Traps once you’re finished ‘aving a giggle mates…”

*Sound of triggered Mad Traps jumping into action, followed by the characteristic Baaaaaalaaargh sound of them detonating in a blob of instant hardening sludge*

Oi Mac Pea, dodging, not dogg….”


But once again their Goat hopping expert seemed more than capable for the job, dodging both the Mad Traps as well as the Celestial Guards bullet, allowing for the Volunteer team to advance outside of the room.


One of the Volunteers was within rifle range and opened up on me, but my heavy armour was more than a match for his primitive bullets. The goat hopper from before wasn’t as lucky though, the Domaru ripping him apart with her Spitfire while he covered for the rifleman’s attack.


Maybe I had gotten a bit too cocky a bit too soon though, as my armour didn’t prove that impervious to the armour piercing Teseum HMG round that suddenly hit me from the other door frame, shot by the Highlander Grey of the Team, wounding me and forcing me into cover. The old Celestial Guard used the Highlander’s focus on me to plant a bullet in her shoulder though, wounding the woman but not taking her our completely. A few more rounds of shooting at each other later however, the Celestial Guard had actually won, and the Highlander Grey lay bleeding on the ground. I seriously needed to have a talk with the guy…


Angry at their Team leader’s death the rifle man that had been running for cover before, now inched forward again, and opened fire on the Celestial Guard as well, but he too was no match for the seasoned veteran, who promptly took him out as well!


With the remainder of the Volunteers unwilling to run towards their dead like their comrades, I was just about to order the Domaru to clear the room, but the Celestial Guard below raised his hand and shouted in a slightly exhausted matter “Don’t worry….old Chuan here will handle it..” and with that he walked over to the entrance of the room, sticking his rifle around the corner, and pressed the trigger of his underslung light flamethrower, a loud female scream the acknowledgement that he had cleared the room as it slowly died down.


As we entered the room to dispose of the Caledonians and to recover our wounded, I once again had to notice that the bearded guy they had called Mac Seamus was missing! How the hell had he gotten away this time? As I was about to access the security camera footage of the area, the guy suddenly appeared right in front of me, waving at me with a smirk on his face.

I instantly punched the guy with my armoured fist, but all that did was distorting the Holo projection that had come from Kanren Umibozu’s Holo Projector, who was still lying unconsciously on the floor next to me……bloody Scotsman! He’d pay for that one!

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